Inexplicable
by Roseminty
Summary: SLASH. A series of shorts about Kick-Ass's and Red Mist's inexplicable connection, switching between Chris's and Dave's POVs, culminates in what they both wanted all along. Red Mist/Kick-Ass; Chris/Dave. Rated M for cussing and strong sexual content.
1. Chapter 1: Catalyst

**Inexplicable**

A Kick-Ass Fanfiction

By: Roseminty (Emily)

I haven't posted anything on this site in FOREVER. So, if you look at my other stories, you will see that they are definitely lacking in the experience area. I just hope that this story shows how much I've improved over the course of the two or so years that I've been absent from Fanfiction. :]

I am in love with the actor Christopher Mintz-Plasse, the guy who plays Chris D'Amico/Red Mist in the movie Kick-Ass. That lisp of his is so flipping sexy... I want him to be mine. I want to hear that lispy voice talk dirty to me... O _O

...Um. *Coughs*

So I wrote this. ^.^ It's based on the movie, as I've never read the comic. I love slash pairings, so of course I HAD to pair Red Mist with Kick-Ass. To me, that pairing is just perfection wrapped up in one hot, neat, wonderful package (pun intended). But I didn't want to delve right into a hardcore sex scene with the two. I wanted to get inside Chris's and Dave's heads, you know? So here it is. First it's a few short stories about Chris's and Dave's SEPARATE experiences with each other, and then the final chapter will be... I'm sure you know. ;D

I DON'T OWN KICK-ASS OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Summary: SLASH. A series of shorts about Kick-Ass's and Red Mist's inexplicable connection, switching between Chris's and Dave's POVs, culminates in what they both wanted all along. Red MistxKick-Ass/ChrisxDave. Rated M for cussing and strong sexual content.

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Chapter 1: Catalyst

Chris was so close.

The familiar burning sensation was spreading from his cock to his lower abdomen and inner thighs as he fiercely pumped himself. He was in the shower, the hot steam swirling about him and the pounding of the water muffling his soft groans.

He was _so close_ to completion; he could feel it, but it was as if the orgasm fairy were playing tag with him, and he just couldn't catch it. He stroked his straining member even harder, biting his lip, longing for that release. It usually came so easily for him; through many years of practice, he had learned long ago what really turned him on and got him there.

But now Chris's body just wouldn't obey him. It teased him, the pleasure flaring up suddenly, and he would gasp and eagerly await the climax, running his wet hand up and down his manhood with renewed vigor. Then that tantalizing feeling, after so quickly sucking him in, would rudely spit him back out, and Chris would be left alone again, desperately grasping at what remained of the false seducer.

He had no idea how many times this had happened, and nor did he know how long he had been in the shower. He looked down at his totally pruned hand wrapped around his still waiting erection, which was weeping pre-cum as if mourning the fact that it hadn't yet reached the summit of its exertion.

Chris groaned in frustration rather than pleasure and doubled his efforts, tugging his dick so quickly that it almost hurt and bringing his other hand up to his chest. He rubbed his smooth, muscle-less skin and grazed over his nipples before grabbing one and playing with it roughly. He arched his back and began thrusting his hips, sending his cock sliding in and out of his fist in time with his pumps. His free hand slithered down to cup his balls and squeeze gently, and then, as if of its own free will, drifted around to his butt. Chris pinched one of his cheeks and moaned at the slight pain that sped straight to his member, transforming into pleasure on the way. He hesitated slightly before advancing to the final resort; he had only done it a few times, after all, and the thought sort of made him nervous. But, with no climax in sight and knowing how enjoyable it was, he muttered, "Fuck it," and stuck two fingers up his ass.

Chris surprised even himself with the high-pitched mewling sound that spilled uncontrollably from his mouth. He gasped in utter bliss as he hungrily stuck a third finger in and began ramming them into his hole, still jerking his length with his other hand. He had known that this sort of stimulation felt good, but he couldn't remember it ever being _this_ good. He moaned almost continuously, with only small pauses in which he breathed heavily through his clenched teeth.

The combination of his fingers being forcefully driven in and out of his tight ass, his wild, involuntary air-humping, and his other hand desperately rubbing his rock-hard cock soon had Chris teetering on the precipice, but not falling off of it. The anger that even this wasn't enough translated into anger at everything and everyone, and an image of Kick-Ass that he'd seen earlier that day on TV suddenly appeared behind his eyes. Kick-Ass was smiling, speaking to the interviewer with animation, excitement sparkling in his eyes.

Chris ground his teeth together and squeezed his eyes shut, not stopping his self-pleasure, but wishing to be rid of this unwanted interruption. When the picture wouldn't go away, he was forced to acknowledge it and allow the emotions that the thought of Kick-Ass induced to flood his mind. Amidst the feelings of loathing, vengefulness, and resentment, there was something else, something that sent fire burning through his veins and caused his heart to race even more than it already was.

And, at that moment, Chris came.

He came with the force and strength of a monsoon, wave after wave of pure, blinding, gut-wrenching pleasure crashing into him. His eyes rolled back in his head and he moaned without restraint, no thought for who might hear him. He swayed on his feet and had to remove his fingers from his hole and place his hand on the wall of the shower to steady himself. Shuddering and convulsing with each rush of joy and satisfaction, he continued pumping his dick madly. The climax grew less and less intense until, as the tail end of the orgasm faded away and Chris's hand slowly fell back to his side, he opened his eyes to see the last of his white liquid and his doubts about his feelings for Kick-Ass swirling down the drain.

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Uh, please review... c: It would make me super happy and encourage me to write more. Plus, this is my first ever masturbation scene, so I'd really and truly appreciate some constructive criticism.


	2. Chapter 2: Crimson and Ebony

Here's chapter two! :D Not nearly as explicit, but I hope it's still enjoyable.

I ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY don't own the lines from the movie that are in this chapter! I simply wanted to make it an actual scene from the movie but have a different interpretation. Please don't sue me. D:

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Chapter 2: Crimson and Ebony

Dave had never doubted his sexuality.

He had always been attracted to girls. Girls caused him to stutter and sweat. Girls set him off and resulted in another wad of tissues being tossed into the trash. Girls were the only lovers he ever fantasized about fucking.

That is, until Red Mist came along.

The first time Dave saw the teen, decked out in red and black and standing with total confidence beside the news reporter on TV at Atomic Comics, he was indescribably drawn to him. Just the fact that he had inspired another superhero to emerge from the shadows was exhilarating, and Dave wanted to know Red Mist, to know this guy with whom he had something in common.

Then Red Mist started speaking, and Dave's mouth fell open ever so slightly. There was something so endearing, so adorable, so _familiar_ about his voice and the slight lisp that adorned it; he sounded totally, innocently calm and optimistic and… Dave didn't know what else. His mind was now preoccupied with Red Mist's slim frame, messy spikes of hair, smooth, pale skin…

"…and I'm just one click away: Red Mist dot org." Dave felt his cheeks flush and blood rush to his groin at the almost sultry way in which Red Mist said those final words, and then, as the new hero winked at the camera, Dave sat there in shocked silence for a second, completely perplexed and somewhat angry at the way his body had reacted (and was still reacting) to Red Mist. He quickly recovered his composure, though, and, with a noise that he hoped sounded contemptuous, asked that the program be turned off. Still silently struggling to make sense of his boiling blood and thundering heart, he tried to cover up his feelings with a question.

"What's so special about that guy?" Dave inquired, realizing he could create a giant list of what was special about that guy's appearance alone. To his relief, his friends started discussing Red Mist and his great deed, and Dave was free to awkwardly adjust his jacket in an attempt to hide the slight erection that he could feel pressing uncomfortably against his pants.

"He looks good." Katie's comment dragged him out of his daze.

"What, better than Kick-Ass?" Dave couldn't disagree that Red Mist looked good, but he had to say something in an attempt to deny it to himself.

"Well, I mean, they're both kinda hot. I just think Red Mist has a better body," Katie answered, unaware that Dave's need grew a little more urgent at the mention of Red Mist's "better body." But the question she asked next threw him entirely. "Don't you think, Dave?"

Dave searched for an answer as Marty pitched in and made things worse. "Yeah, Dave, what do you think? Is that the… Is he the kind of guy you'd go for, with the… all that leather?" There was such amusement in Marty's voice, and Todd was clearly trying not to laugh. His friends' delight at poking fun at what was _supposed _to be a _fake_ gay scheme caused Dave to stumble out of his stupor.

"No, Marty," he said, pursing his lips. "No, he's not really my type."

The rest of Dave's time at Atomic Comics was spent trying to gain control of his emotions and his boner before anyone noticed how strange he was acting. He struggled to convince himself that the whole "pretending-to-be-gay" thing was just getting under his skin, and that, once the truth that he was thoroughly straight was out in the open, he would be back to normal and liking _only _girls again.

But in the recesses of Dave's brain, the thought of Red Mist's narrow shoulders and luscious, faintly recognizable voice just wouldn't go away. So, upon arriving home, he gave in to the longing and whacked off fervently, drowning in waves of crimson and ebony.

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Please oh please review! ^_^


	3. Chapter 3: Cadavers and Cries Ablaze

Thanks to the kind people who have reviewed so far! ^_^ Yeah, Chris is gay is this story. :P Just fyi, I think there'll be two more chapters after this. I'm making every chapter have a title that starts with C. I really don't know why. XD

Oh, and in case you don't know:

cadaver (n) - a dead body, esp. of a human; corpse

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Chapter 3: Cadavers and Cries Ablaze

Coincidentally, Chris never doubted his sexuality, either.

The difference is, though, that the appearance of Kick-Ass served to further solidify Chris's gender preference.

He couldn't remember a time when he didn't know he was gay. All his life, guys were his only interest. In every fantasy he ever dreamed up, he was having sex with a man. And Chris was _always_ bottom.

He sometimes wondered why he only desired to be uke. (He knew the term from reading plenty of yaoi comic books, manga, and graphic novels. Secretly, that kind made up over half of his collection.) Chris knew that being the submissive was painful, but pain, he had realized during one particularly masochistic masturbation session, greatly aroused him. He was naturally a rather demanding person, but the thought of another guy pounding into him, the thought of being completely helpless to the demands of his lover, however harsh, turned him on immensely.

Chris attempted to push these thoughts from his mind as he neared the place where he was supposed to meet Kick-Ass. Having an erection when he arrived, especially in these tight pants, would not be a good way to start things off. He tried to calm his racing pulse and tell himself that Kick-Ass wouldn't look any sexier in person.

_Who the fuck am I kidding? _Chris irritably scolded himself. If anything, Kick-Ass would look a _lot_ sexier in person. The blurry Internet video and the single Myspace picture could not possibly compare to the real thing. He would just have to control himself.

When Chris had first seen the Kick-Ass clip, he had watched it five or six times in a row and then, crotch bulging, hurried to the bathroom to relieve himself. It was understandable why such a video would give him a hard-on. While viewing it, Chris could almost feel each blow from Kick-Ass's batons, and the guttural grunts, groans, and other sounds of effort from both the masked hero and the gang members made him think of one thing and one thing only. The fact that Kick-Ass had a skin-tight outfit hugging his tall and rather lanky figure was just a bonus.

Chris finally reached his destination and pulled the Mistmobile to a quiet stop on the side of the road. He stealthily snuck a little ways into the alley and immediately spotted Kick-Ass leaning casually against a wall. Amazingly, Chris managed to scramble up onto a dumpster without being seen or heard. And then he took a moment to gaze at the hottie before him.

Chris's eyes immediately went down to stare at Kick-Ass's groin and the clearly visible bulge there. It was obvious Kick-Ass did not suffer from a lack of endowment. _Whore_, Chris couldn't help but silently call himself. _A virgin, but still a whore_. He smirked as his gaze swept up and down the green-and-yellow-clad teen's body; images of ripping off Kick-Ass's outfit and doing it with him right there in the alley flooded Chris's mind. Shaking his head and trying to rid himself of these boner-inducing thoughts before he actually got one, Chris assumed what he hoped was a stoic position, his hands on his hips and his chin raised.

"Kick-Ass!" he called out. The other boy jumped, turned, and, eyes widening, imitated Chris's stance.

"Red Mist!" he exclaimed. But Chris wasn't really listening. He was too entranced by Kick-Ass's perfect, pouting lips and striking blue eyes that were curiously familiar...

The rest of the time with Kick-Ass went by in a horny, confused blur for Chris. Even when they arrived at the destination, the horror of seeing the building in flames and discovering the bloody corpses of his father's men was soon stifled by worry when Chris couldn't find Kick-Ass amid the choking smoke and burning debris. The thought that he could simply leave the boy here to die and please his dad crossed his mind for a second, only to be extinguished as he heard Kick-Ass desperately crying his name. Chris didn't know exactly what it was that made him save Kick-Ass, but as he half dragged the gasping teen to the exit, he didn't regret a thing.

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Sorry there hasn't been much "action" yet, with the exception of the first chapter. xD Don't worry; the good stuff's almost here. ;D Review please!


	4. Chapter 4: Can't You Feel It?

ARGGHHHH. I really apologize for the ridiculously long wait. This chapter was so hard for me to write. I literally had to stick my finger down my throat to force myself to throw up this mess. I'm not very satisfied with it. e.e Ah well.

Thank youuuu to everyone who reviewed! You're all very kind! ^_^

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Chapter 4: Can't You Feel It?

When Red Mist betrayed Dave, his yearning for the conniving bastard hadn't lessened at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

Of course Dave was furious. Of course Dave was hurt.

But he could understand the motive behind Red Mist's actions, and, in some strange, twisted way, it only made Dave want the red-and-black-clad teen even more. His extreme loyalty to and wish to please his father was endearing, and… and he hadn't even wanted Kick-Ass to be involved, and… um…

Dave couldn't comprehend his own feelings, couldn't make sense of them. All he knew was that thoughts of Red Mist (or rather, Chris D'Amico) had crowded his mind constantly since the last time he saw him in person. When he had seen Red Mist's unmasked face upon entering Frank's office, it didn't come as a shock at all for some reason. _Well, that explains why Red Mist seemed so familiar_. That was the only thought about the issue that crossed his mind.

Now, lust and unexplainable longing seemed to hang about him like a fog that just wouldn't clear; he felt as if he were forever waiting for some event, some miraculous breakthrough that was never going to happen.

He was content enough with Katie. She was a lovely person, he enjoyed her company, and sex with her was fabulous. But the fog was reliable; it would always settle back down the second they finished, leaving Dave feeling unsatisfied despite the stickiness that coated Katie's inner thighs or lips.

He often wondered where Chris was now. He desperately wanted to tell him he forgave him, just as he desperately wanted to know if the forgiveness was mutual. The little time that Dave had spent with him had been undeniably happy, and he wanted that back so much that it caused him physical pain.

Dave didn't remove his Kick-Ass Myspace account. He checked it every day, hoping to see a message from Red Mist/Chris, knowing that there wasn't going to be one. And he didn't dare send him one first.

One rainy Saturday afternoon, Dave signed in to his Myspace as usual. He had one message; hope flickered weakly in his heart, by now knowing that anticipation was pointless. Dave braced himself for another miserable dousing of cold water to wash away what little fire of hope he had. But it didn't come.

Red Mist. It said it was from Red Mist.

Dave sat without moving for a moment, stunned. He was almost afraid to open it; what if it was a hate letter? What if Chris was simply sending a final I'll-never-forgive-you-and-I-never-want-to-see-you-again message?

And then Dave clicked it.

_Kick-Ass,_

_I need to see you. I don't give a shit if you're still mad at me because I'm sure as hell still mad at you. But it doesn't matter. I can't do this anymore. Meet me at Atomic Comics tonight. 9:00 pm sharp. Be there or be an ass-kicked pussy._

_Chris_

Dave stared at the last word. Apparently, Chris was resigned to the fact that Kick-Ass knew his true identity. Sighing, Dave realized that Chris was inevitably going to find out who he was: skinny, awkward Dave Lizewski. He wasn't looking forward to whatever Chris's reaction would be.

~o~o~o~

Dave stood in front of Atomic Comics. He was dressed plainly, jeans and a t-shirt. He checked the time; it was 8:50. Butterflies were attacking his insides; he had never known how violent the soft winged creatures could be. For only a moment did he hesitate before going inside; he had waited for this opportunity for too long to let it pass.

He glanced around, but didn't see Chris. Or Red Mist, for that matter. Dave hoped that Chris hadn't expected him to come in his Kick-Ass outfit.

Dave took a table at the rear of the building and glared at the surface of it as if it were responsible for his uneasiness. Every time he heard someone enter the shop, he started and looked to the door, half in anticipation, half in fright, his head snapping up quickly enough to break his neck. But every time it was not Chris.

Dave checked his watch again. It was exactly 9:00. And at that moment, in came Chris.

Dave stared at the boy as he entered. He looked like the same Chris Dave had felt sorry for that one day so long ago. Maybe he was a bit rougher around the edges; perhaps just a little more sadness occupied his eyes. But he was the same. He had on a striped dress shirt and black slacks; he looked like he was going on a date.

Dave felt his heart tighten. Or maybe it swelled. From what, he didn't know.

Chris looked around for only a moment before turning his gaze to Dave, and before Dave could look away and not be so obvious, their eyes had met. Chris stalked over to the table without hesitation and plopped down across from Dave.

"I knew it was you," Chris said immediately.

"H-how?" Dave stammered. He felt oddly intimidated despite the fact that there was no anger in Chris's voice.

Chris smirked. "How do you think I knew that you knew who I was?"

"What?" Dave's head was spinning, and he was sure it wasn't just from the confusing statement.

"I signed that message I sent you with 'Chris.' If you weren't someone who knew me, that first name would mean nothing, dumbass."

Dave realized he was right. How could he not have noticed that?

A moment passed in silence before Dave spoke again. "When did you figure it out?"

Chris simply shrugged. Silence again, for what seemed like hours to Dave. He looked at his lap.

"It's ok, you know. My dad was a dick. He deserved to die." Dave lifted his head to see Chris leaning towards him, a softness in his gaze that contrasted with his harsh words.

"How can you forgive me just like that? I thought you were still furious with me." Even though he was overjoyed, Dave could hardly believe it.

Chris paused for a moment and then sighed. "I am, but…" He leaned even closer to Dave, his eyes narrowing and glinting with something unidentifiable. "Can't you feel it?"

Dave opened and shut his mouth three times before finally managing a choked "Yes."

"Well, what are we going to do about that?" There was such suggestiveness in Chris's voice; Dave felt his pants shrink a bit.

Without waiting for an answer, Chris jumped up, grabbed Dave's hand, and dragged him out of Atomic Comics.

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Oh ho ho, Chris is quite the eager beaver, eh? x'D Next chappie: lemony goodness! ;D Review please! And feel free to suggest some smutty stuff for them to do. I may include someone's idea if I like it and it fits with the scene. x3 And that person would get credit for the idea, of course.


	5. Chapter 5: Certes

Heyyy, guys. *Grins sheepishly* Please don't be too upset that I took so long to update. I'm REALLY sorry, but I just couldn't get my creative juices flowing. x[ But now I've got a new chappie! Yay! And the good news is... there's going to be another chapter! I can't write anything else today, but I didn't want to delay any longer, so I decided to post this and make the story have six chapters instead. I promise it won't take me so long to upload the last chapter!

I went with an unusual word for this chapter title... I really liked it for some reason. ^^"

certes (adv, Archaic) [from Old French, ultimately from Latin _certus_, meaning certain] - in truth, with certainty, indeed, certainly, truly, of course

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Chapter 5: Certes

They walked in silence, electricity crackling between them. Chris still had Dave's hand and was leading him to his car. He glanced back at the taller boy once; that small look was enough to make Chris's heart pound rapidly in anticipation.

Upon reaching the car, Chris unlocked it and opened the passenger's side door, motioning for Dave to get in. He did, and as he leaned back in the seat, looking incredibly sexy and sporting a slight bulge, Chris decided that it would take too long to go over to the driver's door. So he climbed in after Dave and straddled him, shutting the door.

They stared at each other, both boys' breaths shallow and quick. Chris examined every inch of Dave's pretty little face and noticed that he looked a bit apprehensive. He needed to fix that.

Chris crushed Dave's mouth with his own, moaning at the delicious feeling of the other's full lips moving against his. And oh, were they moving. All it took was one microsecond of kissing to persuade Dave, apparently. He tasted strongly of cheap cinnamon breath mints, which, for some reason, was extremely amusing to Chris. So much so that he began to grin against the other boy's lips, making kissing more than a bit awkward.

After a few seconds, Dave understandably pulled away as Chris started laughing outright.

"Do I suck that much at kissing?" Dave pouted, which Chris thought was cute as hell. He pecked him once before replying.

"No, no. You just taste cinnamon-y. Very cinnamon-y."

"Well, _sorry._ I forgot to brush my teeth before leaving the house. Only thing I had on me was this cinnamon stuff."

"Don't apologize," was all Chris said before engulfing Dave's mouth again.

"Mm, wait," Dave said, his voice muffled. Chris didn't want to wait anymore; he needed Dave _now_. So he simply kissed him more persistently. However, upon a second protest, he reluctantly backed off, but not before flicking his tongue once over Dave's earlobe. The recipient of this lick paused to close his eyes and groan, and Chris took this chance to forcefully shove his hips downwards, grinning wickedly. Dave groaned wantonly again and pushed back against him, but that didn't stop him from saying what he had to say.

"Ughh, Chris… We can't do this here." Dave closed his eyes and laid his head against the seat behind him as Chris continued to grind rhythmically forward.

"And why the hell not?" Chris frowned, seeming practically indifferent to the fact that their crotches were rubbing together.

"Because… ngh, will you stop doing that?" Dave's hands shot up and grasped Chris's arms. His frown deepened, if that was even possible, but he stopped moving. Dave took a deep breath before continuing. "We can't because there are people around here!"

"So what?" Now it was Chris's turn to pout. "No one's paying any attention to us. And we can go in the back. Tinted windows, hello?"

"I… I don't care. I want to go to your place. I don't want to do this in your car." Chris snorted, but Dave's face remained serious. Chris secretly thought it was endearing that Dave had enough self-respect to not want to do it in a car, but he didn't dare let that show.

"Fine," he snapped, a little more harshly than he intended, and slid over to the driver's seat.

~o~o~o~

Chris put a hand on his hip while Dave contemplated his apartment. He was a little embarrassed, not because he had forgotten to clean up, but because he had forgotten to _un_-clean-up. Chris was a bit of a neat freak; his place hardly even looked lived in. He was surprised to find himself worrying what Dave was thinking. And it was not comforting that the guy wasn't saying anything. Chris cleared his throat. "Well, here we are. Happy now?"

"Very." The object of his anxieties looked at him and unexpectedly beamed. It lit up his face beautifully and took Chris slightly aback. But he was totally unprepared for what followed; Dave closed the distance between them in two long steps and hugged him so tightly he couldn't breathe.

"Hey!" he managed to choke out. The grip loosened, but he didn't let go. "Hey. Dave."

"Hm?" Dave snuggled into Chris's shoulder and didn't move. Chris was about to object again, but then he discovered that he was enjoying it. This realization was slow to come, seeming to enter his body at his extremities and lazily spread to his core, where it hovered around and bumped against his insides and gave him butterflies. A nervous feeling, but a good one. So he hugged back. And Chris knew it was true. It was true, real, honest, right, sincere, definite, absolute. He couldn't say exactly what "it" was. It was an idea, a specific consciousness that he couldn't quite define. But it was true.

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Thanks for reading and sticking with this story despite the long wait, and, of course, please review! =}


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